Ann Chiappetta

Making Meaningful Connections

Thank You Verona

| Filed under blindness Guide dogs Poem Relationships writing Writing Life

I got on the bus last week and took out my cell to pass the time. I opened Face Book and fingered through my status and read that it has been 9 years since I met Verona. I shared the milestone like a good little FB user but the nostalgia stayed with me all day. I wasn’t able to reach out and pet her to say thanks for a wonderful first guide dog experience. It was like not saying “I love you,” to my human family upon leaving for a day’s work.

There are so many reasons for writing this post, from appreciating the people involved in bringing Verona and I together to those who helped me make the decision to retire her and supporting our family so we could keep her and let her live out her retirement with regal dignity.

It’s a little overkill, perhaps, to keep writing about this dog, but, hey, I write about relationships and the most meaningful ones have been with dogs, so, you know, write what you know, right?

Verona continues to provide unconditional love dressed in ebony, a constantly wagging tail, and a gentle nature. She is the only dog in our lives that has generated a fan club and a long list of possible retirement homes when folks heard she was hanging up the harness. All the paratransit bus drivers talked about her, how intelligent she looked, that she “has smart eyes,”. We are featured in the para transit taxi program brochure; when she retired, the local newspaper wrote an article about how much the veterans would miss her. She saw her trainer the other day and actually jumped up to lick her face, prancing around like she was two years old. It is in these moments for which I feel grateful. I am appreciative of the dedication and expert attention to her training and breeding. Our family has benefitted from such a phenomenal dog, she is a true Labrador retriever and the kind of guide dog who became an ambassador because of her character. This is why I write about her so much, have written a book, two poems and dozens of articles about her. She is exceptional. It is this piece of canine personality which grabs our attention and stays with us. It is this type, this definition that sticks to our hearts like Velcro and owns a part of our hearts making us grieve when the animal passes.

People talk about soul mates, and a great guide dog match is similar. Some folks refer to it as a spirit dog, or a heart dog. I felt her unique energy the first time we met and don’t ever want to forget it. The energy still keeps me grounded, gives me confidence.

Here’s to you, Verona, sweet girl, whose ability to trust me and to have been able to take us places and lead us into adventures is the most powerful partnerships I’ve known. Happy ninth anniversary. I love you.

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A Mixed Doggie Bag

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It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about being out in public with a guide dog. After writing my book www.dldbooks.com/annchiappetta , I have to fill up the repertoire, having used most of the material for Follow Your Dog a Story of Love and Trust and in 2016, following the release of Upwelling: Poems. Not sure about other book writers but I felt quite depleted after publishing each book. I did not write much and found I wanted to read more, write less. I honored this urge and have read about five books since releasing Follow Your Dog in October. But I digress.
Onto the dog story …

It was a mixed bag last week, and I will try to show you why in this post.
I was scheduled for a routine ultrasound test. Bailey and I find the door to the waiting room, and I poke my head and ask if this is the right place. The building does not have braille or raised print on any of the doors so I have to ask. A few folks say yes and we enter. I step inside and hear, “She’s got a dog, I’m scared of dogs,” and then I hear, “She’s not coming in here, is she?”

A quick wave of anxiety rises, then I tell it to go away, that I should not be intimidated by what this person says. I should be used to it by now, but after almost ten years of working a guide dog, it still triggers some anxiety.

I ask where the counter is and direct Bailey forward, he stops. I determine there is not enough room for both of us to walk between the chairs, so I begin to shuffle past the patients sitting there, tucking in their feet to let us pass.

I tell Bailey to lay down while I fill out and sign paperwork and hear the same person say, “They shouldn’t let dogs in these places, people have allergies, you know,”. Thankfully no one responds.
To make matters worse, the receptionist treats me like I am a plague victim. She barely touches my hand to help me get to the line to sign my name. I ask her to direct me to a place so my dog won’t be stepped on, as I notice the chairs are very close together. She misdirects me twice, and tries to push me over to the chair instead. I lose my patience, saying, “The chair is not in front of me, the chair is to my right,” She retreats behind the counter, and I can feel her relief of not having to help me anymore.
as it happens, the safest place for Bailey to lie down is the farthest from the radiology room door. I have to walk back around the entire line of people to get to the technician when my name is called. Thankfully, she is helpful and actually loves dogs, allowing Bailey to lie wherever he feels comfortable once I am settled.

I end up waiting after the test for the return trip and pass the time in the waiting area. Bailey takes me back to our chair. Before leaving, I risk a trip to the bathroom. I direct Bailey and because the room is so full, I can tell where the turn to the bathroom is and trail my hand on the wall to keep oriented. Unfortunately, I don’t know that there is a line of chairs against the wall leading to the bathroom door and almost pass my hand across the face of a man sitting there; I apologize as soon as I realize what my fingers touched and urge Bailey on to the bathroom. The reluctant receptionist appears as if by magic, saying, “The bathroom is really small, I don’t think you will fit.” She tries to block me but I just smile and say I think we can fit. I let Bailey go in first, and I go in, then she helps me close the door, as if I am unable to figure it out for myself. I exit the bathroom without incident, Giving Bailey the command to the outer door and we are clear of an uneventful test and I sigh with relief that we have survived that receptionist. Yuck.

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A Kiss From Arrow

| Filed under blindness Guide dogs Relationships writing Writing Life

The photo depicts Arrow kissing my face.
What could be more comforting than puppy kisses? This is what I thought as I held yellow lab pup Arrow. She wagged her tail the whole time I held her and she tickled my cheek with her warm tongue. Every time I get the chance to hold a puppy, I think, is this pup going to grow up to be a guide dog? A detection dog? A search and rescue dog? The only fact I can rely upon for a pup like Arrow is this: no matter where it goes, it will be loved and cared for and given a rewarding life, whether it guides or is given a place in a forever This image requires alt text, but the alt text is currently blank. Either add alt text or mark the image as decorative.home. Thanks to Guiding Eyes, A pup like Arrow will learn to develop its innate traits so it can grow to become a well-rounded and confident dog.

As someone who has marveled at and given much thought on the psychological growth of puppies, knowing a purpose bred pup like Arrow is nurtured and encouraged to embrace its true potential is amazing; every pup has a gleam of potential and when graduation time comes and I hear their name I send up a huge thanks to those who have contributed to make it happen.

May you and your loved ones share a happy and peaceful holiday season and Merry Christmas from all of us here at Castle Chiappetta

December Engagements Whoopee!

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Hi folks,
I am so excited to announce the official launch and first book signing event for FOLLOW YOUR DOG A STORY OF LOVE AND TRUST. The signing will take place before and after the graduation ceremony at Guiding Eyes for the Blind in Yorktown Heights, N.Y. The date is Saturday, December 9 from 12:30 to 4 p.m. and the address is 611 Granite Springs Road, Yorktown Heights. 10598. Go to www.guidingeyes.org for directions. Why not come on by and pick up a copy and while you’re there, take the kennel tour or stay for the graduation ceremony, you won’t be disappointed.

If you can’t make the book signing, there is still more than enough time to order it for the holidays from Amazon, just go here: https://www.amazon.com/author/annchiappetta
I hope we meet you there – Bailey would love for you to take his pawtograph.
Please read on for other opportunities to hear about the book.
On December 7 at 6 p.m. Central time, I will be a guest on the Disability and Progress radio show being broadcast from Twin Cities Minnesota. The Disability and Progress show information is KFAI 90.3 FM Minneapolis 106.7 FM ST. Paul and the website is www.kfai.org/disabilityandprogress

If you can’t tune in, on December 11 at 7 p.m. eastern time, I will be the guest author on a telephone conference broadcast called Branco Broadcast, go to www.annchiappetta.com/ for the call-in information. If you miss the shows, no worries, listening links will be added to the interview page of my author’s website www.annchiappetta.com

Thanks for reading and here’s to a blessed and happy holiday season.

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More Thanks To Go Around

| Filed under blindness Guide dogs Poem writing Writing Life

Hello readers, I wanted to send out this acknowledgement to the Xavier Society for the Blind www.xsb.org/ . Once again, XSB, as we like to call it, has supported the release of my next book with braille copies ready to be borrowed in their lending library. Just like with my poetry collection, receiving FOLLOW YOUR DOG A STORY OF LOVE AND TRUST was thrilling; I opened the box, took out the first of two volumes and, in my slow but steady way, read the title with my fingertips. Thanks, XSB for supporting my efforts and thanks even more for this loan library, filling in the gaps for so many braille readers worldwide. Just go to their website to find out how to become an XSB loan library patron.

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Being Pawsitive

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Thanksgiving is about staying connected and sharing love and companionship. For guide and service dog teams, it means so much and more – here’s to our partners and how much we appreciate their unconditional regard, trust and protection of us.
Whatever you bring to the table, Bailey, Verona, Nikka, Titan the cat and the humans in our home wish you all peace and warmth.

Read on for a book update.

Well, readers, since the last post, FOLLOW YOUR DOG has taken off at a solid trot. It seems like just about every time I’ve asked businesses and other entities to consider a partnership the answer is YES. I am pleased and just a little bit intimidated by it. Don’t worry, though; I have been practicing for this for what seems like years and Bailey and I are ready for the attention. I hope, gulp.

Go to http://www.dldbooks.com/annchiappetta/ to fill up a stocking or two with the new book.
Guiding Eyes for the Blind has been gracious and supportive, too, which is an added bonus. If you are reading this blog post, consider them as one of your organizations of choice for monetary giving. Go to www.guidingeyes.org/

If you are in the Yorktown Hight’s neighborhood on December 9 for the Guiding Eyes graduation, I would be happy to personally sign your copy of the book. Stay tuned for more information on the event or visit my personal website to find out more about other events to promote the book: www.annchiappetta.com

Author Update

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Hello all,
I’d like to share an author’s update. Today I received 50 copies of my new book, “Follow Your Dog a Story of Love and Trust”. My goal is to sell all of them by the end of December. If you haven’t purchased a copy, go to http://www.dldbooks.com/annchiappetta/

How did I get there? What motivated me to write and publish a book? The creation of the book merits another post entirely, therefore this post will start at the point shortly before I sent the draft to the editor.
To begin, part of the promotional plan began six months ago. I was thinking about how to improve my promotion since my first book was not as successful as I thought it would be. Poetry doesn’t sell as well as other genres.

The good thing is the new book is nonfiction and appeals to more than just poets and writers. I put the finishing touches on the manuscript and decided to follow advice from other professional authors to create a personal website. I made the decision based on what I wanted to accomplish with this book as well as how to expand my visibility in general. I made a list of what I’ve been doing when volunteering, like being a public speaker and newsletter editor for other organizations. I was also a copy writer for a few organizations, helping with writing content for new websites, membership letters, brochures and social media posts. I have 15 years of coordinating programs and small to medium sized events, too. I’d spoken to audiences from pre-k to seniors on topics like disability, guide and service dogs, mental health, military cultural concepts, PTSD and trauma, rehabilitation, art and literature and fundraising. I thought, why not utilize the experience and talent alongside with the literary arts? I decided to tie it all up in a pretty bow and become a consultant. https://www.annchiappetta.com/ is now live and offers a robust menu, including a speaking engagement form, biography and links to interviews, presentations, and awards. My blog is also linked and the DLD Books author’s page directs folks to it as well.

Which entities or businesses and other promotional contacts have I pursued? Here is a list: guide and service dog schools and programs, Labrador breeding magazines and groups, both my undergraduate and post graduate colleges, local bookstores, bookstores in other States, pet stores, pet groomers, service dog equipment suppliers, social media groups on Face Book, radio stations offering disability-related programs and shows, podcasts and other media outlets. .

I have one book signing planned which will hopefully get media attention as it is being planned with the guide dog school from where I graduated. I have a recorded phone interview and a radio show interview planned as well. I also have been trying to find where I could sell books on consignment and will be saving up for a few magazine ads after 2018, if all goes as planned.

What, one may ask, is on the wish list? A table at a few crafts fairs, a few speaking engagements for National Poetry Month, a weekend writing retreat, and being able to attend the annual Indy writers conference. Also, being able to put my book in the big box bookstores like Barnes and Noble and a book signing at The Strand in NYC would be absolutely crazy-cool. A book signing at The Strand would be like being on Broadway. This brings me to a fanciful thought: what if my book could be adapted as a play or movie script?
Thanks for reading and see you on the pages.

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Ahead of Schedule!

| Filed under blindness Fiction Guide dogs Poem Relationships writing Writing Life

For Immediate Release

Contact: Ann Chiappetta, author 914-393-6605 ann.m.chiappetta@gmail.com

Writer tells Compelling Tale, and it is all for the love of dogs
New Rochelle, New York — October 24, 2017 – Local author and poet, Ann Chiappetta, celebrates the release of her second book, a memoir titled, “Follow Your Dog: a Story of Love and Trust”.
Legally blind since 1993, Chiappetta received her first guide dog from Guiding Eyes for the Blind in 2009. The nonfiction book tells of her struggles growing up as a visually impaired child and learning how to cope with progressive vision loss while working and raising her family. Throughout the book, her relationship with each dog in her life at the time shares a prominent place.

“It’s all about the dog,” she says, summing up being out in public with her guide dog, adding, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The latter half of the book focuses on the human and canine bond that develops when matched with a guide dog. Chiappetta writes, from the back cover: “With this book, I hope to take the reader on a journey of understanding: learning what it’s like to overcome the darker side of disability by walking the path of independence with a canine partner. “
Chiappetta will be scheduling book signings and readings throughout the United States, beginning with a book signing at Guiding Eyes for the Blind in Yorktown Heights on December 9. The book is available from popular eBook and print on demand booksellers.

To purchase Ann’s book, go to http://www.dldbooks.com/annchiappetta/
Or, to access Ann’s schedule of book signings and interviews, past interviews, or request her as a guest speaker, go to https://www.annchiappetta.com

To find out more about the publisher, go to http://www.dldbooks.com
To find out more about Guiding Eyes for the Blind, visit http://www.guidingeyes.org

Almost There!

| Filed under blindness Fiction Guide dogs Poem writing Writing Life

Hello readers, below is a plug going out to help prepare for the launching of my second book. Please share this post and visit my new website. The new book will be ready for sale very soon.
Poet, author and consultant, Ann Chiappetta, M.S.

Home Page

Since 1990, Ann Chiappetta’s writing has been featured in both print and electronic publications, most notably Dialogue magazine, Reader’s Digest and Matilda Ziegler online magazine. Her poetry has been featured in small press journals like Lucidity and Midwest Poetry Review, among others. Ann’s fiction has been featured in literary journals including Breath and Shadow, Magnets and Ladders, and local collegiate publications. Her articles and essays are featured in a regular byline in the Consumer Vision digital magazine.

Her debut self-published book, a poetry collection titled, “Upwelling: Poems”, has been well received. Ann’s second book, a memoir titled, “Follow Your Dog: Story of Love and Trust is being released in November 2017. To read more about Ann or to purchase her books or to request Ann as a guest speaker, visit her on the web at: https://www.annchiappetta.com/

An Oldie but a Goody

| Filed under Fiction Relationships writing Writing Life

Ann Chiappetta
Iona College
Dept. of Pastoral Counseling & Marriage and Family Therapy
CNS-510 Lifespan Development
Br. K. Barry
3/15/05

The Breakfast Club and the Systems Within

They are sometimes morbidly, often curiously, preoccupied with what they appear to be in the eyes of others as compared with what they think they are
–from Identity, Youth and Crisis (1968) by Erik Erikson

Dear Br. Barry;
You asked each of us to watch this movie and comment on it. To make inferences based on implications. I accept the fact that I had to sacrifice five whole days to write this paper because I had to take this class. Call me crazy but I think it’s crazy. What I really want to know is, with which character do you most identify?
Sincerely,
A breakfast skipper

Introduction
The characters portrayed in this film dramatize what it is like to be human, to grow, to stagnate, and to take chances. For instance, Mr. Vernon’s midlife crisis reminds us that teens are not the only ones who struggle with identity. According to Erik Erikson, midlife crisis is referred to as “generativity vs. stagnation, the seventh stage of human development called middle adulthood. Mr. Vernon is suffering from disillusionment and is questioning his decision to become a teacher and administrator. He is essentially seeking out the very same things that the five teens in detention are seeking: a sense of purpose and belonging.

The following is an analysis based on a systemic perspective. The purpose of this paper is to compare and contrast the elements of what defines the family system and the peer system. Additionally, pursuing connections and/or identifying the differences between the two groups exposes the motivations of the individual and his/her interactions in a group setting.

John’ Bender the Criminal
“Eat my shorts.”
He is the bad-boy; neglected, tortured, and lost; he elicits your attention because without it he knows no other way of affirming his own existence. A trained clinician would note that John is angry, resentful, and insecure. Conversely, the same clinician would note that John is resourceful, observant, and able to create cohesiveness in the group by challenging them. We see this in the beginning of the film when he sabotages the library door. No one reports him to Mr. Vernon assuring him that he can take charge. By the end of the day, John successfully roots out and exposs everyone’s foibles as well as sharing the ugliest parts of his home life, like the cigar burns on his forearm. The clinician watching this film would make an educated guess that he likes being in control of others and feeling powerful boosts his self-esteem. It is suggested that John is living in an abusive household with and alcoholic father. Because of his unstable home life, the only way John can communicate is by creating chaos and finding out about others through his/her own negative experiences. This particular group provides John with a sense of belonging, a dynamic he cannot find at home. The peer system is a surrogate for the things he is missing in the family system.
Whether he is aware of it or not, John symbolizes the desire to rebel against authority in order to affirm his place in society. He has already found that by being an outsider, he does not need to conform. Erikson asserts that when someone like John is “driven to the extreme of their condition [they] find greater sense of identity in being withdrawn or in being delinquent than in anything society has to offer them (1968, p. 254).” This is apparent in John’s disdain for authority and others, like Andy and Claire, who have made the choice to assimilate into the larger peer group. John holds back but it is not clear if he does so because he is afraid or if he has found another secure group outside the school’s influence.

Allison Reynolds the Basket-Case
“When we grow up our soul dies.”
Allison is the least differentiated person in the group. She is the basket-case, symbolizing the least developmentally evolved personality. She is the least attached to the peer system, her identity evolving through out the entire film. Because the family system appears to be disconnected, Allison’s own sense of balance is affected. For example, her confrontational way of speaking at awkward moments and/or refusal to speak leads this clinician to extrapolate that Allison is not skilled in the social graces. She admits to lying, stealing, and sexual promiscuity to seek attention from the others yet is reluctant to speak honestly about herself when asked. Seeking negative attention is Allison’s preferred way of communicating with others. She most likely learned this maladaptive skill from her family system. When pushed, she admits to being ignored by her family and that her home life is “unsatisfying”. A good clinician would hypothesize that Allison is being emotionally neglected and quite possibly physically neglected as well. For example, her hair looks unwashed and her clothes appear to be borrowed. She has strange eating habits, as if pop-tarts and cornflakes are all she is offered or accustomed. She is missing the little bits and pieces of parental instructions and/or demonstrations, like her mother making sure she has a nutritious lunch and clean clothes. Things most children in middle-class America take for granted. These clues point to parental neglect.
Allison’s place within her peer group is precarious, evident by the way she often hesitates joining in and holding back. Her fear of rejection is stronger than her need to belong, to test where she fits. A good clinician would conclude that her hesitation in joining her peers is a result of feeling lost within her family system.

Claire Standish the Princess
“I hate it! I hate having to go along with everything my friends say!”
John calls her a “richie”. Andy is her friend, Brian lusts after her,and Allison , well, her opinion of Claire changes by the end of the film. It’s hard to feel sorry for her; she is priviledged, attractive, and intelligent. She lives in a world that all of the other kids can only imagine. She is the popular girl, a role model for the other girls in the school to emulate. She says she hates it yet she seems to be quite comfortable in her role until John uncovers what’s going on in her family system: divorce, alcoholism, infidelity, and perhaps a bit of high-brow rebellion. After all, she did cut school to go shopping.
Since Claire is the top of this particular peer system it is noteworthy to pay attention to how guarded she is throughout most of the film. She fiercely defends her place in the group by magnifying the faults of others while defending her character. It works quite well in keeping everyone else in his or her place, except for John. A clinician would surmise that this is how Claire’s family system operates, or rather, how she operates within the family system. She likely has to guard herself against the conflict between her parents. She mentions that she disobeys her mother only when her father compels her to and that if she had to choose who to live with, she would choose her older brother instead. Claire, like all the others, cannot escape the parallelisms that exist between the family and peer system. The more she struggles against the yoke of preconceived expectations, the tighter she is entwined.

Andrew Clark the Athlete
“He is like this mindless machine that I can’t even relate to anymore.”
Andy is describing his inability to connect with his father. Andy sees himself as less than human. He feels as if he’s being used for his athletic prowess and that his emotional needs are being ignored. Andy wants to do the right thing but is easily influenced by his father’s worldview. A clinician would conclude that Andy is also an angry young man but for different reasons than those of John Bender. Simply put, he is being exploited by his father’s overpowering need to excel, to win at all costs, even at his own son’s expense. A clinician would try to find a way to help Andy use his athletic gift to free him from his father’s control. It is implied that Mr. Clark is domineering and this could be why he and his son are struggling for control. It is natural for Andy to test his father and it is often the parent who resists the shift in the relationship, causing the adolescent to resist, resulting in a stalemate.
Andy’s place in the peer system is the most stable due to his family’s position (working-class) and his innate desire to excel and good social skills.

Brian Johnson the Brain
“I don’t like what I see.”
A truly intelligent, intuitive person, Brian Johnson is the group’s observational conduit. He is the door mat, pitied by John, ignored by Andy Claire, and Allison. He is overly solicitous to adults and other kids who outrank him. By all appearances, he is a geeky ass-kisser, an overachiever, a genius who failed shop. Unlike the others, instead of lashing out, Brian holds in his emotions. When pushed he cries rather than becoming angry. A good clinician would take note of this and ask Brian if he ever gets angry, and what happens when he does. It is possible that Brian internalizes his anger and frustration because in his family system, tears and fits of anger are not how an intelligent person behaves. A responsible, mature young adult does not entertain suicidal thoughts. Like Allison, Brian struggles with his identity; he doesn’t like what he sees and yet he has not attempted to change or express how he feels until John challenges him.

Conclusion
In the social jungle of human existence
there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.
–from Identity, Youth and Crisis (1968) by Erik Erikson

Who among this group has the most potential to become successful? The answer is all of them. Each teen has a chance to either succeed of fail depending on what the future unveils. For example, Andy may very well blow out his knee and this may upset his father’s plans and add more distance between them. Claire’s father could remarry, or Allison could run away and become a crack addict. For that matter, John could graduate, get discovered by a film producer and star in a movie about teen angst. Brian could become a firearms instructor/left-wing anarchist. My point is that there is no such thing as a sound future. They all have great potential and a good chance to find a positive direction and purpose. Discovering who they are and who they want to be is what adolescence is all about.

References
Breakfast Club, The (1985) A&M Films Channel Productions. Universal City Studios, Ca.

Erikson, Erik. (1968) Identity, Youth and Crisis. Norton, New York.

Santrock, John W. (2004) Life Span Development. Mcgraw Hill New York.